Noah Finn & the Art of Suicide by E. Rachael Hardcastle

Author:E. Rachael Hardcastle
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: 9/11 fiction books, metaphysical fiction, twin towers books, books about death, new york city books, religious fiction books, emotional books
Publisher: E. Rachael Hardcastle
Published: 2018-02-12T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Fourteen

THE WORLD IS LONELY

NOAH SITS IN HIS ORIGINAL seat, contemplating his wasted life.

His knees judder. He nibbles the ends of his fingernails, staring at the black void through the carriage's reflective window, wondering what else Christopher wants him to learn about loneliness when already it feels like they're last remaining souls in the universe.

Thinking about Dylan's dust-covered face; her piercing blue eyes alight amongst the mass of terrified grey bodies surrounding her, Noah imagines she feels the same.

“Are they ever going to find my body? Is that why it's so easy for Dylan to arrange my funeral, because the coffin's...” he swallows hard, “...empty?”

Christopher grinds his teeth. “Depends.”

“On?”

“Your options.”

“I'm ready for them.”

Christopher shakes his head and sits beside him.

Noah hands back his handkerchief, feeling cooler the closer to the seventh lesson they climb. He hopes this means he's heading in the right direction. To Heaven, or whatever sits in its place.

“Did I ever make it clear why you're learning these lessons?”

“No,” Noah says. He folds his arms. “I think I understand anyway, though.”

Christopher gestures for him to offer his version of the rules. Noah stands so he can pace. Physical freedom always made Noah feel comfortable expressing himself; capable of persuasion.

“My guess is that these aren't lessons but truths.” He pauses and rubs his face, then sets off pacing. “You're showing me seven things about my life I never knew; seven important details I need to know to make a decision. The universe wants me to weigh them, know all the facts, so I'm not cheated when you finally reveal my options.”

“What would I cheat you of?”

“A future, be it pleasant or a punishment. You can only observe; I, therefore, have to act, but you want it to be fair. Given the circumstances of my death, you want me to see how precious life is.”

Christopher's mouth upturns. “Tell me, Mr. Finn, what have you learned so far?”

Without pausing Noah says, “I've accepted my death; what it means to die and the repercussions of suicide. You've taught me the order of things, human responsibility; that there's a reason for all life and death. You introduced me to Oggie, a do-gooder who gave his life for mine, even when it was undeserved.”

Christopher smiles but says nothing as not to break his client's train of thought. He gestures for him to continue with a gentle nod of his head.

“You demonstrated the importance of actions and reactions and showed me how emotion is powerful when I blamed Jose for Annaliese's death. Emotion controls us, causes us to act foolishly but ultimately leads to forgiveness. It, too, is therefore useless in the end.”

Noah inhales deeply, remembering their tragic deaths. He wishes he hadn't witnessed the cab driver's irreversible actions but no longer blames Christopher for forcing him to.

He'd bottled up blame and hurt. It was poisoning his soul, blinding him.

Listening, Christopher wrings his hands together and leans forward in his seat.

“But I'm still learning,” Noah finishes.

All this, Noah knows, has so far demonstrated how one man's actions - his specifically - affected the people around them for better or worse.

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